Can I break the cycle

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Just the other day I realized I may be in a losing situation.  Not living in the moment has left my spirit within the confines of my home. I have to think out loud and way in advance to share my heart and soul. I can not give all of me, in any given moment. I have to premeditate my ideas as if I were to present a case. 

I am the type of individual that want and needs to thrive in the moment. I need to be able to breath in the fresh air of creativity at all time or my candle eventually burns out. The life and light within me has not been given the room to expand. I have been stifled and choked into submission, with no obvious way out of the pickle.  

So what is it exactly that I am talking about? Why am I so lost in my own thoughts? What am I to do? I can not seem to find the answers to this. As I rant on and on, I realize that I am not getting any closer to that one thing that I am looking for. Peace and solace! So what is it that I need to do in order to get that?

Come om dammit someone answer me. Some one, any one, let me know what it is that you are thinking. Are you going through this thing in which I cant seem to spell out. Are you feeling the pinch of life, as I have felt it?

What do I need to do to break the cycle of lost?

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A dream come true

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As I was waking up this morning I realized that the world will not stop for me. Now I know you must be saying to yourself no shit Sherlock. But stick with me on this one.

Last night I bumped my head hard on the mental idea that I was human. I realized that all that affect me also affects others. The realization that I was not special hit me right on the top of my head and there was nothing that I could do about it. I was up the creek without a paddle as they would say.

Ok here is the gist of this morning. I awakened from a very interesting dream filled with clues and ideas that I could not comprehend during its play time.  In this dream I had everything that I could ever wish for without working hard for it, then a sudden turn came about. All of a sudden a brain opened up and became filled with motion and activity beyond anything that I have every seen. Within this mind, I can see art, worlds beyond imagination, music, and writings, along with skyscrapers and loving couples with great families. Achievement was on high with positive marks in everything. Then the alarm clock went off. So what does this mean you ask?

For once in my life I realized that I have finally awaken from a long dream coated nightmare, of not working hard at what I Wanted. The thing is I have the talent and the skill, mashed against the mind and the will to get things done. However I have become complacent with mediorcre results that allowed me minor joys in life. I realized in this dream that I had to create what I wanted and be creative at doing so. Until then I would hate everything that I am doing and nothign will come of it because it will seem like labor instead of art.

The moral of my story is that life is art. It is up to you to paint the picture with the design within you mind and heart. Until you do this it will be basic and far to fundemental for you to care. Almost repetative and mundane. This will drive you into the ground without accokmplishing your personal goals. So when you awaken everyday, think for five minutes how you will apply a piece of you to what it is that you do. That is all that your life ask of you and you should ask the same of your life.

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